Monday 29 September 2014

The Obligatory Coeliac Post

I was diagnosed coeliac a few months ago. It wasn’t as big a deal to me as it might be to others, as my Nan was coeliac and my Mum has been for a few years now. If a parent has coeliac disease you have a one-in-ten chance of having it too. I knew it was coming. I had no difficulties getting used to the limited choice of foods. I already know on sight if something contains gluten and if I don’t know for sure I can make an educated guess. It’s perhaps because of this that I have no tolerance for people who say things like “Can you eat eggs?”

I don’t like to make a big deal out of it, I don’t even like to mention it, but other people take care of that for me. Telling me they’d cry if they could never eat bread again, or making sure every waiter in the restaurant knows I have a dietary requirement. When people are offering biscuits or other gluten-filled treats I’ll happily say “No, thank you”, but there’s bound to be one person in the room who pipes up with “She can’t.” 

I thought I’d miss all the foods that contain gluten but the truth is I just don’t really think about it that much. I no longer keep bread in the house (gluten-free bread is awful – yes, even Genius), and my snacking habits have switched from cakes and biscuits to popcorn and chocolate. People say you become healthier when you go on a gluten-free diet but I found a way to keep hold of that lovely sugar and salt. 

What I do really miss is being able to eat out wherever I want. Although this has probably saved me hundreds of pounds, it’s made my daily life just a little bit dull. When I do get the urge to go out for lunch it’s quickly extinguished by the realisation that I only have a choice of about five reasonable quality places, most of which have one or two options for me on the menu. 

Being invited out by friends and family makes me very anxious if I know people will want to eat. Eating before I go out means I’ll be sat watching everyone else eat. I don’t have a problem with that, but I can sense others’ guilt and I usually get people trying to make me choose something. “Ooh, look, the macaroons are gluten-free!” Yes, I’ll eat my macaroon and you all carry on with your pizzas. 

My mum’s usual method is to just eat anything, gluten-free or not. She doesn’t have terrible reactions to gluten unless it’s in large quantities, so she can usually get away with it. I know I can’t do this, as with the odd time I’ve mistakenly had gluten, I’ve had a reaction within the next 24 hours. If there’s nothing for us on the menu we’ll order something with lots of simple ingredients and ask for everything plain. No sauces, seasoning, no extra little surprises. Steak and chips usually. I don’t tell them why. If the staff find out you’re coeliac they have a panic attack about cross-contamination. 

There’s another option, which is to tell people in advance that you’d like to go somewhere where they’ll accommodate you. Although I know this is the best option, it’s the one I’m least likely to do. I don’t want to make a fuss, especially if it’s not me arranging the thing. I have friends who are outraged when I’m not fully accommodated and encourage me to ‘stand up for myself’ in such situations. I have other friends who seem to think of it as a silly phase. I’ll get over this little gluten-free fad soon enough, what am I like, eh? 

No-one warned me I’d become more sensitive to alcohol and caffeine. In coeliacs, gluten causes the villi of the small intestines to lie down flat, decreasing the surface area and therefore decreasing the absorption of nutrients (including alcohol and other drugs). The first few weeks of following the diet but not making adjustments for these saw me on the floor after two glasses of wine and trembling after a small cup of coffee.

Being diagnosed isn’t all negatives though. I’m slimmer and healthier without putting in any effort. Symptoms and side-effects of coeliac disease disappear within about a week of going on the diet and there are long-term health benefits, ranging from decreased risk of certain cancers (e.g. lower risk of breast cancer when following the diet) to increased fertility. My dietician (what a luxury!) assures me it's all worth it in the long-run...